Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Apples Were On Sale..

So I bought a bushel and made some apple muesli for a yummy, healthy breakfast! I got the idea from the wonderful cook at the temple in Abentheuer, and I've been wanting some ever since. I tried to replicate her recipe, so measurements are approximate (about 3-4 servings):

-2 apples, chopped, then diced julienne style
-1 cup vanilla nonfat (or soy) yogurt
-1/2 cup oats
-1/3 cup rice, almond, soy, or nonfat milk
-1/4 cup raisins
-1/4 cup chopped almonds
-1 tbsp brown sugar
-1/2 tsp cinnamon

Just dump it all in a bowl and mix it up till the liquids & spices are neatly blended. Serve. Easy! And delicious. This being my first stab at it, I think next time I make it I'll add some honey (which goes in the German recipe). I thought the brown sugar would be sweet enough, which it was, so I think I'll reduce that and add honey. And less cinnamon - since I was playing it by ear I put far too much cinnamon in this batch. Feel free to play with it how you like, mixing ingredients, different dried fruits and even fresh ones. Sliced bananas are really good in muesli.

It can spoil quickly, what with the acidity of the yogurt and the sliced apples, so refrigerate any leftovers in an airtight seal-able container, glass or Tupperware.

Monday, November 1, 2010

FREE YOGA!!

So in order to complete my teacher training, I need to give practice classes. Email me if you want to have a FREE personal or small group session! I'm still going to be doing my large-group classes in the park, probably starting next week if not this Saturday. But until then, email me, let me know how many people your group is, or if you'd like an individual session, and I'll come to you! I can either come to your house, or we can find a park or recreational area to meet, it's up to you.

All I ask is that you sign a roster that I have to turn in to my school, and sign up for my mailing list. Other than that, it's completely FREE!!


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Teacher Training Complete!

Well, close. I have a couple more steps, but I'm about 90% of the way there!

Part of what I have to do to finish certification is practice teaching. So I'm going to be holding FREE CLASSES in North Hollywood starting next week! Please come, I'd love to see you there! (More info to come)

I know you've been waiting for a blog about Abentheuer, and I'm sorry I didn't get it up sooner, but things have been kinda crazy since getting back to the U.S. Between starting my yoga business, researching other yoga studios, working on launching my acting career, trying to fit in seeing all my friends and family for the start of the holiday season, and making sure to practice yoga every day, I feel like I barely have time to relax at all! So please forgive me if blogging is not my first priority...

The trip was really a wonderful experience. I learned a lot about myself, what I'm capable of, and what work I still need to do to become fully realized. I had originally planned on blogging during the intensive, but for 10 whole days I was without Internet or phone. It was actually very liberating to be without technology for a time, to fully focus all my energy on why I was there without any distractions. We were staying/studying at a temple in the middle of the woods, nestled in the outskirts of a the country town of Abentheuer. The cell reception was spotty at best (but I wasn't about to subject myself to roaming charges, anyway), and the only computer was about 10 years old, with a dial-up connection to match. It was so quiet and peaceful, and exactly what I needed.

As was Atma Yoga. It's everything I was looking for in a yoga style, and I'm eternally glad it found me! I connected to something greater than myself, and the more I learn, the more I'm able to open up. This year-and-a-half-long journey through spirituality has really led me to some interesting revelations; I'm very grateful to all the persons who have helped me along. I opened up my mind and body, and found myself capable of poses I never would have imagined when I started doing yoga 3 years ago. By doing the Atma Power Yoga set every day, five days in a row, I became a million times stronger and more flexible than ever before! After only 1 week! Imagine what can happen if I keep up this regimen!

I also learned that all that jogging I had been doing before was locking up the muscles in my legs and back. I read in my anatomy book that it can do that, but after experiencing the results of 8-10 miles/week with practically NO yoga thereto, I won't repeat that practice again! Cardio is still important, and I plan to continue doing some, but not nearly so much.

As far as teaching goes, I'd love to teach at the Atma Yoga studio in Venice Beach, maybe only once a week, though, because it's far from me. Then I'll give private sessions and classes, and hopefully teach a few days during the week at other spots around town. I'll keep you posted.

For now, look for updates on my FREE classes and stay tuned!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

T-Minus 10 Days!

So I'm flying out exactly 10 days from today to Abentheuer, Germany, for the Atma Yoga teacher training intensive. I've been working really hard this month on completing the online portion of training, and it has been intense. A lot of work, but a lot of fun, too. I'm both excited and nervous about the intensive at the same time.. Of these things, I'm sure: It will be fun, it will be an awesome experience, and it will be extremely intense (the nature of an 'intensive'). It will be deeply enriching, and I know I'll be very grateful for having had the opportunity.

For one reason or another, the Universe has not wanted me to go to the studio this month, but I'm going to make it to Goddess Yoga next Monday if it kills me! I'm very excited to be going back to the country I fell so in love with, not to mention getting my 200-hour Yoga Alliance certification!

When I come back in mid-October, I will be certified to teach, and I will be marketing heavily to find a job, as well as giving private lessons! So stay tuned!

Thanks for following my journey to becoming a yoga instructor, it has been amazing! I can't wait to teach you!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Next Step: Certification!

Always stretch first!
 So a week ago today, I ran 12 km in a personal fundraising event to raise money for my trip to Abentheuer, Germany in October (about 7.5 miles).

It was great! I started just outside of Dodger Stadium, ran through Echo Park, Silverlake, Los Feliz and Griffith Park, ending at the front gates of the L.A. Zoo!

I started out at a great pace, making record time (for me!), getting from the stadium to Crystal Springs Dr. at the south end of Griffith in just a little over an hour.

 It was clear to me, though, once I made it in to Griffith Park, just how unused to jogging uphill I am, and I finished with a total time of about 2.5 hours. Not bad for jogging a snail's pace the last 3 miles!

I had a blast, and now jogging 2-3 miles per day seems like pie! Next step: train for a marathon, perhaps? ;) It's amazing to me, because a year ago, I never would have thought I could do it - but I did and it was a great experience.

A lot of people thought that I did this through an outside organization. I guess I have my design skills to blame for that - my flier and paperwork looked so official - but really it was just an idea I had, myself, to raise money for this trip. I participated in a jog-a-thon fundraiser to raise money for camp as a kid, and having done the AIDS Walk in middle school, it just came to me. The charity angle was an incentive for people to donate who may have been leery of just supporting me by myself... 

Leaving the Stadium

But when all is said and done, I raised a good amount towards my cause, and of that I'll be donating 10% to the My Stuff Bags Foundation as a result - thats about $50!

And as promised, those who helped out will be able to claim their free yoga class when I get back in mid October. =) 
I'm very grateful to everyone who helped out, and literally, every tiny bit helped! I feel so blessed and I love you all, I can't thank you enough!

I've started the online training course for my 200-hour yoga certification, and plan to hopefully finish it in 2 weeks, to give me some breathing room. Next stop: Germany!

This was my route!

Not crazy about this pic, but you can clearly see the sign for Silver Lake Blvd in the bg
Los Feliz, just before Griffith
Don't ask me what the funny faces are about... My mom was kind enough to be my pacecar and take photos for me - I guess with all the jogging I 'forgot my face' as it were...
At the base of Griffith Park

Sunday, August 29, 2010

12k Fundraiser Complete!

Just an update, a more extensive post including pictures & everything on the way...

I did it. I ran 12km (about 7.5 mi) this morning from Dodger Stadium to the L.A. Zoo! I raised some money for my trip, as well as for this great charity I'm going to be supporting. I feel great! It's amazing, because a year ago, I wouldn't have even imagined I could pull it off, and here I am. I took a couple breaks for water, but I hardly walked at all, and I finished a lot faster than I thought I would.

Next stop: marathon??

Monday, August 16, 2010

Fundraiser!

Help Beckett (that's me!) get to Abentheuer, Germany October 8-17 to complete her Yoga teacher certification in Atma Yoga through Yogamandir by sponsoring her in a 12k Jog-A-Thon!

The Jog-a-Thon will be on Sunday, August 29 at 8:00 in the morning, starting at Dodger Stadium, and ending at the L.A. Zoo (exactly 12 km). Any level of sponsorship is apreciated!

A percentage of proceeds will be donated to the My Stuff Bags foundation, whose mission it is to provide every neglected, abused, and abandoned child in America rescued from dangerous and abusive homes with a bag of comforting personal belongings. These children often arrive at crisis centers and foster homes with few, if any, personal belongings. For more info, check out MyStuffBags.org.

Donation will also entitle you to a FREE Yoga class (personal or group, your choice) upon Beckett’s certification and return to the States.

Your help is greatly appreciated! 

Also, If you want to jog along, your company is also welcomed!


Finally Picked A Yoga School!

I totally lucked out! All of the programs I was interested in going through for my yoga certification are basically finished for the rest of the year, and won't have anything local until around February. Since I am in need of a job, and would preferably like to start teaching before then, I'm not willing to wait that long. So I was browsing my options and happened upon an Atma Yoga school that not only has a session sooner than that in LA, but one even sooner in none other than Germany!


I have always had an affinity for all things German, and have wanted to go back there ever since my short residency there. It was always in my plans, but for one reason or another, kept getting pushed back. So needless to say, I was ECSTATIC at the thought of getting certification in Germany!

Atma Yoga is one of the most reasonable places I've seen. Because a portion of the study is done online, they are able to charge less for their 10-day intensive than other programs. The fact that I get to go back to Germany (in my old stomping-grounds, no less!) is just a plus. When I return, I will be certified in Atma Yoga!

I couldn't be more excited!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Having A Chef in the House Pays Off

My roommate is an amazing cook. Seriously, she could (and should) have her own restaurant. She loves experimenting with ingredients she isn't used to, so she loves cooking al Veg for myself and my other veg roommate. And we love when she does!

For the past month almost, she was out of town for a family emergency of sorts, so I had to fend for myself. You must understand my plight: I have never been a cook by any means. My specialty is boxed Mac-n-Cheese. On occasion, I used to go for a fancier alternative in the form of Rice- or Pasta-Roni. I'm the type of person who forgets to put flower in her cookie dough and ends up with a gooey, buttery mess.

In an attempt to eat healthier, I've been buying more vegetables, less pre-prepared microwaveable and just-add-water-and-butter sodium overload meals, and picked up on a few of the Chef's simple techniques in the process. I was so proud of how delicious & pretty these dishes turned out that I had to share them with you!

Wheat Lo-mein with grilled lemon-pepper tofu & stir-fry veggies
Fried brown rice with fried lemon-pepper tofu & spinach
There is egg in both of them, so they are not Vegan, but you can easily substitute that with a tofu scramble. There is also a tiny bit of lo-cal, lo-sodium soy sauce, but used very sparingly. All-in-all, a complete success!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Eastern Prayers for Meditation

Here are some prayers/affirmations for your meditations that I stumbled upon:

Let me be loved, let me be happy, let me be peaceful.
Let my friends be happy, loved, and peaceful.
Let my perceived enemies be happy, loved, and peaceful.
Let all beings be happy, loved, and peaceful.
Let the whole world experience these things.
  - Deepak Chopra, Indian philosopher

May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness;
May all be free from sorrow and the causes of sorrow;
May all never be separated from the sacred happiness which is sorrowless;
And may all live in equanimity, without too much attachment and too much aversion,
And live believing in the equality of all that lives.
  - Traditional Buddhist Prayer

Dance, when you're broken open.
Dance, if you've torn the bandage off.
Dance in the middle of the fighting.
Dance in your blood.
Dance, when you're perfectly free.
  - Jelaluddin Rumi, Sufi mystic


The last one I just like.


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Yoga News & Easter

Seeing as Easter is this Sunday (and Passover this week) I think it only befitting to share a good website with you fellow Veggies out there that offers some great vegetarian and vegan alternatives to some traditional holiday meals: Vegetarians in Paradise

Also, I know it's been awhile since my last update, so I'll update you on what's going on. First off, I'm working on an exciting new blog entry that's a review of my top 5 Veg restaurants in the Valley. It's a work-in-progress, but stay tuned because it's going to be epic!

As far as yoga practice goes, I'm applying for the YogaWorks teacher training program starting in June! Although I was really excited about LMU Extension's yoga program, I'll probably be able to get financial aid at YogaWorks, which is a huge deciding factor. You can also put down a deposit to save your spot, then pay the rest before class, whereas at Loyola you have to pay all of tuition at the time of registration.

Also I'm working with a friend on opening up a community-based yoga co-op class down the street. Sessions will probably be between one and two hours, a children's group and an adults' group. Details to come.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Beckett's Top 5 Vegan/Vegitarian Restaurants in the Valley

#5. Follow Your Heart Market Café

I love this place. It's a wonderful vegan, veg and natural foods market, plus the café has a great all-vegan/vegetarian menu with tons of choice! I took my omnivorous mother here for Mothers' Day and we both really enjoyed ourselves.



#4. Kung Pao China Bistro

A tad bit on the pricey side, but they have a great variety of vegetarian meat substitutes in classic Chinese dishes. One thing I truly do miss from my omnivore-days is orange chicken. Kung Pao has GREAT orange "chicken", and I also love their "beef" and snow peas and tea-smoked "duck" (*drool*). Just steer clear of the "shrimp", it kind of just tastes like gooey plastic.



#3. Chili My Soul

Some meat-eaters think you can't have chili without meat - they couldn't be more wrong! And the best place to get veggie-chili was Chili My Soul. Tragically, the restaurant was closed last year due to a loss in the family-owned company. It stays in my top-three, however, in hopes that they will reopen eventually. My heart goes out to the family of Randy Hoffman, creator and owner.


#2. Hugo's Tacos

Another great place to take your non-veg friends, as they have tons of options for all. My favorite is the soy chorizo with honey chipotle sauce. The best thing at Hugo's is that you can customize your order: choose your meat, sauce, and style (you can even have it in burger form with a veggie-patty). Many of their ingredients are also organic.


#1. Vinh Loi Tofu

I absolutely LOVE this place! If you are veg and live in the Valley, or even if you are carnivorous and don't live in the Valley, you MUST go here. They've got a great menu with a large variety of dishes that are sure to please even the pickiest of Veggies out there. Specializing in Vietnamese cuisine, it's a great casual place to pick up some lunch. They're vegan "meats" can't be beat, and that's why Vinh Loi is my #1!

Live, Breathe and Eat Yoga

I really, really want to go on a yoga retreat with the White Lotus Foundation. Even if I already have obtained my instructor's license by the time I can afford to go, I still want to go. To be in nature, doing yoga all day every day, being surrounded by people who share the same passion for yoga as I do - it just sounds so relaxing, so freeing. It would be so nice to be able to go right now, while I have all this free time....

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Yoga & Exercise Routine

I can't stress enough how important and beneficial yoga is. I, for example, am in the best shape of my life, weigh less than I did in high school, have the best muscle definition I've ever had, not to mention feel great and am stronger and more flexible than ever; and I owe it mostly to yoga.

My steady regimen of crunch sets, Sun Salutations, 2-mile jogs, plus portion control and eating right have led me to this point. Not even when I was working out 5-days a week at the gym, doing weights and treadmill, was I as toned and light as I am now.

And I'm not even doing anything all that strenuous. Anyone can do it. You don't need any equipment or anything!

I usually rest my body one day a week, but the rest of the week I alternate day-to-day between jogging 2 miles (at a slow, even pace) and an hour yoga vinyasa routine, though even on rest days I do my crunches. It's a simple routine, though every once-in-awhile I'll try some deeper arm-balances like the afore-mentioned Dragonfly.

1. Start meditation in a seated position. When ready, come to all-fours.
2. Alternate Cat-Cow positions, flowing with your breath. Do as many reps as feels good. For ab-workout here: with a flat back, extend opposite leg and arm on inhale, then out to the sides for Awkward Airplane on exhale. Hold for a few seconds, then come back to extended on breath in and repeat. Do 3 reps. Extend opposite arm and leg again, this time lifting like in Cow pose on inhale, then curl in, bringing elbow to knee on exhale, curling back like in Cat pose. Do 3 reps then switch sides.
First Sun Salutation:
3. Come to Child's pose and even out breath, then go into Downward Dog, pedaling heels back-and-forth to stretch out calves. When ready, extend one leg up behind on inhale, bringing it between arms on exhale, slow and controlled. Remain on ball of back foot, bring arms up to Crescent for a breath, then back down and extend front leg back to Plank.
4. Now the Vinyasa: Hold for a breath then lower to Chaturanga, hold for a breath. Without touching the ground, glide up to Upward Dog (for an easier rep, lower to the ground then rise up to Cobra or Sphinx). Come back to Chaturanga, rise up to Plank, then back to Downward Dog.
5. Repeat 3 & 4 on other side, excluding Child's pose.
6. When in last Down Dog, bend knees, look up and walk or float up to a forward fold. With hands on the floor, on inhale extend spine, look up halfway, fingertips on the ground (try to get a slight bend in the lower back. For a simpler version, place fingers on calves instead of on the floor). Exhale to fold. Do 3 reps, then on inhale, straighten back, arms out to the side and rise up to standing, steadying breath in Mountain pose.
7. When ready, raise arms above head, slight back-bend at the top, then with a straight back, fold back down on exhale. Rise up to fingertips on inhale, then fold again. Do 3 reps, then plant hands on the ground, walking or floating feet back to Down Dog (note: if floating back, land in Chaturanga). Repeat Vinyasa, ending in Down Dog.
That's the end of the first Sun Salutation!
Second Sun Salutation:
8. Repeat steps 3-7 (excluding Child's pose again) except substitute Warrior One for Crescent pose. Don't skip any poses!
Third Sun Salutation:
9. Go through the whole thing again, except substitute  Warrior Two for Warrior One. While in Warrior Two, do your standing poses: Reverse Warrior, Side Angle (do the arm bind if you like), Prayer Twist, Triangle, and Warrior Three and Half Moon if you want to add some balance in there. Make sure to do both sides with a Vinyasa between.
10. When you've gone through the third Sun Salutation, instead of Mountain pose, come to Chair and hold for a minute. You can do the Chair Twist and arm-balances here if you want to challenge yourself. Otherwise just fold after Chair pose.
11. Come to Yogi Squat and open up your hips. Roll down onto back and bring knees into chest, rest. When ready, place heels flat on the floor, close to butt, and raise hips up for Bridge, hold. Lower hips slowly and raise legs up in the air. Raise arms too and try to lift both hips and shoulders for a lil' ab workout here. Place arms at sides and lift legs up above and behind head for Plow. When ready, place hands on hips, with elbows behind you and raise one leg then the other above for Candle. Rest.
12. Finally, lower knees beside ears, grab ahold of feet or ankles and very slowly and controlled, roll down into Happy Baby pose. Roll from side to side for a back massage, then lower both arms and legs to the ground, relax, and Sivasana!

*PHEW*

It's actually, not as much as it sounds. Depending on your pace and how long you hold poses for, it can take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half. Often times, I'll add my crunch routine (which is very simple: 2 reps of 12 normal upper ab crunches with legs in the air bent at 90 degrees,  2 reps of 12 bicycle crunches, and 2 reps of 12 double leg-lifts with hands flat under butt) before inverting Plow/Candle. You can also mix it up by adding some seated twists and a Pigeon or Lotus in there either before or after Sun Salutations.

See? Easy! =)

For explanations of how to do all the poses I mentioned, go here.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

More Challenging Poses Every Day

On my first day of yoga, I was trying out a free trial membership with L.A. fitness. My then-roommate and I decided we'd check out the yoga class. The instructor taught an intermediate-style class forcused on breathing and deep stretching. Being my first-ever experience, I was floored by it. I've never beenthe most bendy of people and some of the simpler stretches made me laugh to think about attempting. When she asked us to try Dragonfly pose, I just about died of mental laughter!

After just a few months of steady practice, my body began to bend easier and I was able to stretch and extend to limits I never would have thought possible before. Now, after ove two years, not only can I bend and touch my forehead to my knees in a foreward fold, but I can balance without difficulty in both the Chair Twist arm balances, Crow pose, and (almost) Dragonfly. My problem with the latter is that I still can't do the splits, but I'm guessing that in another two years, that too will be no problem.

Yoga is amazing for pushing your body and testing your limits. As long as you try (but don't push yourself to the point of injury) your body will be able to do things you never thought were possible after just a couple days' practice. Give it a try. I dare you.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs...

I'd love to work part-time at a yoga studio, to just be in that environment, have a place to practice, and be around other yogis would be ideal. That's my new part-time job goal. I feel like I've been looking in all the wrong places, and this extended roller-coaster ride of a job search is the Universe's way of telling me that. I'm supposed to be working in yoga, so I can have an in at a studio once I have my instructor's license.

I applied to one online last week and she's supposed to call me back this afternoon. I've also been putting off calling places in my area just to get my name out there - I get so nervous over the phone. But my cards and my stars have been telling me I need to just pull it together and do it. Until I do, my chances of working at a studio are slim to none, I know that. It's in my hands, I just need to find my nerve....

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Six Months +

When I quit my job last year, the one that was literally driving me insane, I knew things would be difficult for a few months. I did NOT, however, have a clue that it would be this hard, and last this long. All I want is a part-time job that can help pay my bills while I pursue my other passions - why should that be so much to ask for? Not only have I been turned down or ignored for countless jobs to which I've applied over these past months, but I've gotten about 5 or more job offers that have not actually become a job. Weird, I know.

In many ways, I'm glad I did quit that job. It was driving me crazy (really) for many reasons. But I was making good money, and I miss having money. Yes, I'm happier (except for being stressed out about not having money), and I'm pursuing my dreams... But money does help. It makes everything easier. I wouldn't have to worry so much. Even unemployment insurance would have been perfect for me in these circumstances... But I can't change the way things turned out, not now.

But I still think this is worth it - right? To have my sanity?

For months now, the Universe has been telling me, "Be patient. Good things are coming. Wealth is coming." But I've been patient, and I'm tired of waiting for things to happen! Not that I've just been waiting around, either, I've been working my ass off trying to make things happen, too. So far, nothing has fit. So - what? What now, Universe?!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Visitor

The Universe has always used animals to communicate with me. It knows I have a special bond with them, and appreciate their insight into the world. There was one day last year, when I was going through the bulk of my healing and keeping a journal of it, when I was particularly affected. I was eating breakfast outside, observing the nature in my backyard, when a squirrel jumped down from the tree closest to me onto the fence and looked me right in the eye. We stared at each other silently for several minutes, as if he were trying to tell me something, before he slowly made his way across the fence to the tree on the opposite side, never breaking gaze with me.

For the past week or two, I've been doing pretty well. I haven't been positive or able to meditate still, but I haven't been depressed or desperate, either. Yesterday was an exception. I was feeling especially rejected on all fronts, and became really depressed. I was desperate. I wanted to reach out and grab someone, anyone, to pull me out of the pit. Anyone but anyone would have done. A friend talked some sense into me, and after crying for a good long while, I went to sleep.

I wasn't feeling much better this morning, but I got up anyway and made some coffee. I'm trying to avoid the internet as much as I can, because it only causes more pain and that was part of the problem yesterday. So I was just sitting at my computer, watching an episode of Bones (as I have been known to do lately), when I happened to glance out of my window just as a hummingbird decided to land on my tree. I've never seen one stop for more than a second before flying off again, but she stayed for a good ten minutes and groomed herself. I watched her, and had to pause the show so that I wouldn't look away again before she left. She finished grooming, flew away, then came right back and this time sat on the branch facing toward me. She looked right at me. She flew away again and came back again, then again.

I don't believe in coincidence. I know the little hummingbird was trying to tell me something, even if it was only "calm down, good things are coming, just be patient."

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Woke up this morning with my heart racing again, and kept on like that from about 8:30 this morning until after I got back from jogging. Anxiety is a bitch, but at least I've been able to get a full 7-8 hours of sleep again.

I worry too much. I think too much. I wish I could get out of my head. Or at least that I had a steady job or production or something to take my mind off of things... It's almost been three weeks, so why can't I stop thinking about it?

Friday, January 8, 2010

Tired of Waiting

I'm ready for things to start coming together. I'm ready for good things to start happening.

I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm broken-down.

I feel like all I do is wait. I'm sick of it.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Writing Every Day

I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing. I was journaling for a little while in the summer, but that didn't stick.

Ever since my laptop crashed, it's been hard to write. For one, I don't have Final Draft anymore, so I have to write scripts in Word, which is a pain. The other reason is that I have always looked to my older writings for inspiration, and now I can't even see them. Having a laptop was helpful, too, because I could take it to the park or a coffee shop or library, or even just downstairs, and people-watch or multi-task.

It has never really sunk in over the past year or so since my laptop died that I might not be able to recover what's on there.  There has GOT to be way, there just has to. All my scripts, all my short stories, all my poetry - my life, my being in words...

I will pay whatever it takes, when I have the money, anything, to get my life back. Those writings are too important.

For now, this blog will be updated daily, just to get back into the habit of writing every day.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Yoga Practice

Yoga is great for the soul. Cleansing, relaxing, releasing. Clears out all the junk in life, while also offering a great workout.

I've been practicing a lot lately. My current workout routine consists of a 2-mile jog two or three times a week, an hour of yoga practice three or four times a week and six sets of abs every day. Looking forward to getting my bike fixed so I can put that back in there, too.

I still can't meditate. Can't seem to clear my head or concentrate... What with money trouble, still having a hard time finding a job, and boy stress, it's been almost impossible to turn off my brain. It's getting better day by day, but it will really help when I have an income again.

For now, the physicality will have to do. My muscles are sore and toning, and it feels great.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Going Back to School

It's something I've been wanting to do since leaving. I love school, I love learning, and (call me crazy if you want) I love schoolwork. Not the busywork kind, actual work - researching, writing papers, reading...

Originally I'd planned to go to Grad school in Germany. I would still love to do that, but if I want my career to go anywhere, I really think this is the town to do it in. For awhile I was thinking about going for a graphic design and/or animation degree. But that's expensive, and I would have to commit at least 2 if not 4 years before finishing.

I want to get certified as a Yoga instructor. I want to go to school. So when I heard that LMU had a certification program, I thought, "Perfect!" But their 200-hour Vinyasa Krama teacher training program is only available in the summer... I really don't want to wait that long. I was all ready to live on-campus for the duration and get a job in Marina Del Rey and everything - I was really excited about it!

Well if I have to wait until summer, I guess that wouldn't be the worst thing. But I'd really rather do it sooner than later.

The only other program that has appealed to me is the Santa Barbara retreat with the White Lotus Foundation. But I have bills to pay and it's a matter of also coming up with the money to participate...

Why can't I just have unlimited resources at my disposal? Hear that, Universe? I'm waiting!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Zombiemania!

Yesterday was Zombie Day. I was a zombie in a music video with a friend of mine. We took tons of pictures, which will go up :soon:, though she wished we'd taken more. =)

Something you will learn about me is that I am NOT a morning person. Never have been. Never will be. But an overload of coffee usually does the trick.

So I had to get up around 5am to be at her house by 6:30. Mornings have been especially hard lately. I cry, rage, scream, throw stuff, or some combination of those. I've been getting through the hurt day by day, and each day it gets easier. I don't know why this boy is affecting me so much. He's not special - he's not even that great... I guess it's just I haven't allowed myself to have feelings for someone in almost two years. But even that wasn't this hard.

What I've learned from this whole experience is that I no longer want to be frivolous with my heart. I'm ready to open up and let someone in - I don't want to keep these steel walls up anymore. And that is a really good feeling. For that, I am thankful. Thank you, boy, for re-awakening that part of me.

Now if I can just forget him.....

Friday, January 1, 2010

Outlook on Life

I've been working on creating an archive of my old blog. As a result, I've basically read through my entire life over the past six years. What's interesting is that I've found I used to be very negative and cynical. Those things didn't change in me until this past year; I was steadfast in holding onto my beliefs and deductions about life and humanity.

I'm much more at peace now. Much more positive. Open to giving and receiving the good things in life...

Six years is a long time. But at the same time, it isn't. I have grown a lot since the ripe age of 19, but have only truly found myself in the past year. I'm much happier in who I am now. And grateful for the experiences and people who've come in and out of my life that have helped shape this person.